The Mannequin
by whitetiger91
Summary: What could be better than spending the day Groomsmen shopping with Percy? Anything, really. Ron is determined to deflate Percy's ego in the most ridiculous way possible. Written for several DAII challenges.
**The Mannequin**

"I can't believe they don't have a purple shirt! Purple! I tell you, it's absolutely ridiculous!"

Ron rolled his eyes, cursing Charlie and George for leaving him with Percy. Gits; they just happened to be 'working', didn't they? Adjusting the heavy bags he held, he jogged to keep up with his brother, who was strolling ahead, muttering about the endless robe shops they had all visited. Really, one would think it was a crime for them not to cater to everything single one of Percy's needs.

"What if we tried Salvatore's? They're not far from Diagon Alley and—"

"No, I already Floo'd them. The best they have is lilac. Lilac!" Percy scoffed, cutting off his suggestion.

"Well, what about one of the Muggle shops around here? You have your main robes, so you might be able to get away with one of their shirts underneath?"

Percy whipped around, his face pinched in disgust. "You sound just like Father. Muggles don't have the answer to everything, you know?"

Ron shook his head, his stomach growling and legs aching. Percy hadn't let them stop for lunch, let alone sit down in any of the lounges the stores supplied. If he didn't know any better, he would say it was his brother that was to be the bride.

Snorting, he said, "Honestly, with how fussy you are, I'm surprised Audrey agreed to marry you."

Percy huffed. "Why wouldn't she? We were made for each other."

"I don't know, your heads don't match," Ron muttered.

His brother glared at him, lifting his chin. The superior look he wore would have had more of an effect, however, if he wasn't knocked by a witch hurrying along with her several kids. He stumbled a little before he was able to right himself. Brushing down his robes, he said, "Would you believe the manners of some people?" Then, fixing his hat, he looked back at Ron. "Fine, we'll go to one of the Muggle dress stores around here. But if they don't have what I'm looking for, we're leaving."

"Yes, sir!" Ron mock saluted, earning another glare from Percy.

Nevertheless, Ron was relieved that at least they were getting somewhere, rather than strolling down the streets of Wizarding London in search of non-existent, purple-shirt stocked stores. Adjusting the heavy bags in his hand once more, he followed Percy as he headed towards Muggle London.

* * *

"You look absolutely stunning in that outfit. Oh my, yes, that shirt certainly does bring out your eyes."

Ron lifted a finger to his lips, miming throwing up, as the sales assistant praised Percy. His brother nodded in agreement as the little man adjusted the vest, brown eyes twinkling as he no doubt realised how much of a sucker Percy really was.

"No, no, leave the buttons as they are. Some things are better left undone. Now, should I go fetch a bow tie?"

"Mmm, I think you're right. Do you have one in aquamarine?" Percy asked.

"Certainly! We have turquoise, teal, aquamarine, sky blue, cornflower blue, duck-shell blue, sea green; you name it!" the man squeaked, skipping off to the rack of bow ties near the counter.

As he did, Percy turned around to face him and puffed out his chest. "So, what do you think? I must say, this is rather well fitting, don't you think?"

Ron shrugged his shoulders, not really looking at the outfit. "Yeah, it's great. I thought you wanted purple, though?"

Percy rolled his eyes, turning back to the mirror. "Oh, Ron, you need a little more sense about you. Blue will bedazzle the guests and is much more in style. Now, hurry up and try on yours so I can see what it looks like." Still admiring himself in the mirror, Percy flung a shirt at Ron, the material covering his face.

Holding it up, he felt his mouth pop open. The colour itself wasn't too bad: a dark green, slightly reminiscent of the Slytherin house colours, yet not completely repulsive. The material was soft and silky, the collar stiff. What had him wrinkling his nose, however, was the ruffles running down the shirt's front. Big, ghastly, unmanly ruffles.

"Is this a joke?" he asked, finally looking at his brother.

Percy eyed him through the mirror, eyebrows raised. "Mmm?"

"This. This thing—it looks like, well it looks—"

"Perfect. The colour will suit all of you, especially with your red hair. I just hope Mum is able to convince Bill to cut his hair, otherwise the effect will be ruined," Percy said, adjusting the shirt's collar.

"But it's—"

"Hurry up and try it on. Go on, see what it looks like."

Ron stared back down at it, convinced his brother had chosen this one on purpose. The hideous shirt bore an uncanny resemblance to the ancient robes he had been forced to wear to the Yule Ball almost a decade ago, and there was no way in the world that he was going to wear it. Glancing up at the sales assistant, he saw the man watching the boys with a smile. Creep; he probably had something to do with selecting the shirt.

"Why can't we just wear white underneath our robes?"

"Because that looks better. Now, stop being a baby and try it on already." Percy sighed, taking off the vest and selecting another one from the pile nearby.

Ron looked back at the sales assistant, who had returned to skimming through the selection of bow ties. He wasn't completely convinced that the man wasn't going to peep at him, however, and turned back to Percy.

"Quit hogging that stall. There's no way I'm going to try this on with people watching."

Percy snorted, finally spinning around to give him his full attention. His eyes darted around the store before he smiled at him. "What? Are you afraid these mannequins are going to watch you?" he asked, pointing to the plastic dolls around the small shop. "You do know that they're not real, right?"

Ron felt the heat rise to his cheeks as his brother stared at him. Condescending prat; of course he knew mann-mannykin—those things weren't real. The way they stared at him so blankly, eyes unseeing, were certainly creepy, yet it didn't take a genius to know they were just dolls.

"Honestly, Ronald, you do make me laugh sometimes," Percy continued with a laugh.

Gritting his teeth, Ron tried to stem the anger building up within. He would show Percy just how much he knew. With a forced smile, he glanced at the plastic dolls. "Oh, I know that, Percy. I was just thinking of that little incident a few years back, that's all."

Percy tilted his head, confusion sparking in his eyes. Bingo. "What incident?"

"You don't remember? I thought you would, considering you worked in the Ministry and all. I mean, people knew that all those Muggles seemed to disappear after the war, but they couldn't blame You-Know—Voldemort—they couldn't blame Voldemort anymore, could they? They didn't know what really had happened to them."

"Of course I remember," Percy said, puffing his chest once more. Then, a little more hesitantly, he said, "The public aren't allowed to know about what...happened to them."

"Oh good, I'm glad you do. How terrible, right? Can you tell me the truth behind it, though? Are they close to catching the perpetrators?"

He bit back a smile as Percy shuffled from foot to foot, biting his bottom lip. Pompous git, he really didn't have a clue what Ron was talking about. It wasn't much of a surprise when the older boy said, "How about you tell me how much you know, just so I don't reveal more secret information than I have to?"

"Alright. Well, as I've heard, the Muggles were turned into Mannequins by a wizard, or wizards even, who knows, who was disguised as a Muggle salesperson." Lowering his voice, he leaned in towards Percy, "No one knew what was happening. The people would be frozen, like they were under a full body binding curse, only able to blink and breath.

"None of the Muggles would notice, 'course, 'cause they must've put on some spell making them look normal, and we both know not many wizards shop in Muggle stores and therefore wouldn't have noticed. Anyway, over time, the spell would turn them stiffer and stiffer, so that they eventually turned into plastic like those things."

Stepping back, he watched Percy look to the mannequins in wonder. He took a step forward, as though keen to inspect one closely, before shaking his head and looking back at Ron. "Ha, you almost had me there. Now, stop wasting time, and try on that shirt. You'll have to change out here, because I want to try on some of the pants they have here. Unless, of course, you're scared of your little friends."

Ron scowled as Percy stepped into the tiny room behind the door, slamming it in his face. Stupid know-it-all git. Tossing the shirt in his hand to the floor, he stormed over to the other side of the store to find a better option. The sales assistant shot him a glare for the way he discarded it, but he ignored him and noisily sorted through the shirts on the nearest rack. Why was his brother so insufferable? He would love to wipe that superiority smirk off his face once and for all. Catching another glimpse of the mannequin to his right, he knew just how he would do it, too.

Stepping up on the small pedestal, he moved the large plastic doll over a fraction, his eyes watching for the sales assistant as he did so. If he came over, it would spoil his plans. Thankfully, the man had gone into a back room of the store, evidently not finding the perfect 'aquamarine' bow tie. Shaking his hands and feet for a second, he pushed his shoulders back and stood up straight, making his breath come out as shallowly as possible so that it wasn't too noticeable. Then, mimicking a pose like the mannequins beside him, he froze.

The minutes ticked by and he remained standing as still as possible. His stomach rumbled, but he didn't dare move. From the other end of the store, he could hear Percy shuffling around behind the stall door. What was the prat doing? It didn't take that long to try on a pair of pants, did it? Several times, he resisted the urge to crane his neck to see what his brother was up to. Staying still wasn't an issue—not with the years of practice he had hiding beneath the Invisibility Cloak with Harry and Hermione—but it didn't mean he wanted to stay that way forever. In the back of his mind, he pictured the sales assistant, or another customer, walking in and seeing him in the ridiculous pose—his arms held up, feet turned out.

Eventually, his brother opened the door to the stall, pants pulled up to his waist. Ron listened as Percy paced around, presumably in front of the mirror, before finally noticing his absence.

"Ronald? How does the shirt fit? Have you tried it on—Ron! You cannot leave your shirt lying around on the floor like that. It's very rude, you know," Percy chastised, and Ron could picture him bending down to pick it up, the material of his pants crinkling.

Ugh, what an insufferable perfectionist. His stomach grumbled again, causing him to reach down and rub it. Not long now, Percy would come along, and he could scare the wits out of him; food just had to wait until then.

"Ron? Where are you?" Percy asked, steps echoing on the floorboards.

Ron straightened up again, knowing it wouldn't be long before Percy came to where he stood. Sure enough, he spotted the red of his brother's hair in his peripheral and resisted the urge to smile.

"Ron? Ron, what are you doing up there? Get down before the clerk sees you!"

Percy stood in front of him now, hands on hips and foot tapping. It was difficult not to roll his eyes at the way his nostrils flared, or at the amount of times he _tsked_. Nevertheless, he remained a statue, only his eyes moving and chest gently rising and falling.

"Ha ha, very funny. Now, get down, you're embarrassing me," he whispered, eyes glancing around the store in search of the sales assistant. "Come on."

Ron braced himself as Percy latched onto his arm, tugging roughly. He was jerked forward and only stopped himself from falling only by putting all of his weight into his feet. His arms and legs remained as stiff as he could make them, so by the time Percy let his arm go, he was able to remain on the podium, albeit in a different pose.

"Ron?"

Percy's hand came into view as his brother waved it back and forth in front of his eyes. The fingers then came together, clicking at him. He felt his eyes began to water as they blinked with each click. It was relieved when Percy finally stopped, taking a step back.

"C'mon, Ronald, quit playing games. You're a mannequin, I get it. Ooooh very scary! Now, can we get back to shopping?"

Time to step it up a notch. Moving his eyes back and forth, Ron looked from his feet to the back room where the sales assistant had disappeared to. Percy narrowed his eyes, following his gaze.

"Oh, I get it, that clerk did this to you? Well, maybe I should go and hex him? Mmm?" Percy made to move towards the back of the store, lifting his foot slowly. "I'm going now."

For added measure, Percy took out his wand from where it was tucked into his robe's pocket. Percy had seemed to think that a hidden wand would make him blend in with the Muggles, forgetting that his pointed hat stuck and robes stuck out like a sore thumb. He also seemed to believe that Ron would fall for his bluff, forgetting that he had used it so many times in the past when he threatened to tell their mother about something he had lied about.

Ron remained rooted to the spot, not game to move a muscle. His stomach rumbled again, this time a little painfully, but he didn't pat it. With persistence, he might be able to pull the prank off, and then he could eat.

Percy wavered on the spot for a moment, before spinning around and placing his hands on his hips. With a sigh, he said, "Fine, fine. You don't have to try on the shirt, we'll guess your size. Just get down, please?"

With his eyes moving once more from his feet to the back door, he didn't answer. Percy narrowed his eyes, but he could see the hesitation within them. Little beads of sweat had begun to form just below his brother's hairline and he began to chew on his lower lip. Perfect.

"Ron?"

Percy's hand came to his face again, this time waving more frantically. His stomach rumbled yet again, but the other boy took no notice. Soon, Percy's hands clapped onto his shoulders, and he was being rocked back and forth.

"Ron? Ron? Can you hear me?" Percy's voice rose, an undeniable squeak at 'me.'

Just a little longer…

"Alright, don't panic. I'm going to, um, I'll get help, alright? Uh, hang on!"

Percy spun around in a circle, head turning every direction. He took a step towards the back room, intent on getting the sales assistant, then changed his mind and took a step towards the front of the store. Several times, he moved back and forth, unable to decide what to do. Then, gripping his shoulders, he shook Ron once more. "Alright, don't worry, you'll be—"

 _Brrrrrrrrrrrt._

Oh no. The jerking movement had been too much, and as Ron tried to suppress the latest grumble from his stomach, he had been caught off guard, and it was shaken from him with a fart.

 _Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. Pffft._

And another one.

Percy stepped back, waving his hand in front of his nose as Ron clutched his stomach. He knew he hadn't had lunch yet, but it hadn't stopped his stomach from reminding him. Damn.

After Percy decided it was enough to breathe in the air again, his fingers pinching his nose just in case, he glared at Ron. Stepping forward, he lifted his other hand and clipped him across his left ear.

"Idiot! I thought you had been—idiot!" Percy whacked him across the ear again.

Ron lifted his hand to his throbbing ear, returning Percy's glare. His lips, however, began to twist upwards into a smile. So, his brother had believed his lie? He had been wrong, and didn't know everything.

Straightening his shirt, Percy stalked back towards the changing room. "C'mon, let's pay for our things and leave. I need a break after such childish nonsense."

Following Percy and watching as he warily looked at the mannequin he passed, Ron allowed the smile to break out over his face.

His brother may have been an insufferable git, and would never admit to being wrong, but at least he cared.

* * *

 ** _A/N: I'm sorry if this fic was a little ridiculous, especially with the overused potty humour. It sounded a lot better in my head, as most of my stories do. This fic was written for several challenges on the Diagon Alley II forum, as I will list below, and was inspired by a story my sister used to tell me when I was little about mannequins and what they really were (it gave me nightmares, too, and I think she might have gotten it from a tv show or movie? Who knows, very creepy though!)_**

 ** _Challenges:_**

 ** _The Fairytale Challenge:_**

 ** _Classic story: The Adventures of Pinocchio - Write about a lie._**

 ** _Optional prompts: Dialogue: "Some things are better left undone."_**

 ** _Word: bedazzle_**

 ** _The Potions Club:_**

 _ **Ingredient: 5. Dried Nettles: Write about an inflammation of the ego.**_

 _ **Challenge Your Versatility:**_

 ** _Eras: #10: Post-Trio, Pre-Next Gen._**

 ** _Bingo Writing Game:_**

 ** _Prompt: #57: Platonic pairing: Ron and Percy_**

 ** _I do hope you enjoyed it, and I will hopefully have any kinks ironed out soon! Thanks to Ari for pre-reading and suggesting :)_**


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